199.6

98 degrees today and I only weigh 101 pounds more than that. Hurrah! Although fat people can almost always tell you what they weighed when, I can’t remember the last time I weighed under 200. Maybe 20 or 21 years ago just before being pregnant with our youngest. Certainly not since then.

People keep asking me if I don’t feel so much better and are disappointed when I don’t answer, “Oh, wow, yes.” Like weight loss itself, it’s a gradual thing. I notice the rain forest heat doesn’t bother me quite as much, that I’ve got a bit more energy for a second task after the first. But I felt so miserable a year ago that just improving to normal aches and pains is the first step on a long journey.

Last Wednesday I took 3 trash bags of outgrown clothes to Goodwill. This is how a cicada must feel, shedding layers for a bright new body underneath. Particularly strange to see my things start appearing on the shelves while I was still poking about the store. I have no interest in keeping one huge item of clothing to remind me of “back when.” I will have no trouble remembering how when I sat down, my own belly filled up my lap.

I’m going to do some yoga now and then go for a ride before we hit triple digits and/or the expected thunderboomers explode. I’m going to feed the hummingbirds and bake the Corn Pudding with Dill and Parsley from Deborah Madison’s exquisite Greens Cook Book (1987), maybe make some more Silver Palate Zucchini Bread for the freezer.

Maybe that baby and I will see a trashy, fun summer movie but we won’t buy popcorn at the theater. Check out “Movie Theatre Popcorn — A Calorie Bomb” on webmd.com to get the real skinny on this. OMG.

He Who Loves PB&J sandwiches was wondering last night how many he’s taken to work over the years. I have to wonder how many large tubs of popcorn, saturated in greasy topping, I’ve scarfed down in the dark and by myself. Lots of times I was on the job as a movie critic but, still, in the dark and by myself are key to all of us who struggle with excess poundage. If we hide out and eat, if we eat alone, no one will know we’re fat. And if no one throws it back in our faces, we don’t have to know either.