My year as an only child

My only sibling died a year ago today, just as summer 2016 premiered.  I guess, officially, I was also an only child in the 21 months before her birth, but I’m assuming I enjoyed that. This, not so much. I miss her. No one else walks this world who knows what it was like in… Continue reading My year as an only child

I’m as corny as Kansas in August (insert favorite upbeat lyrics here)

  I like to imagine that in happy, healthy families the children grow up to expect and focus on the positive. “Don’t you ever think things might turn out OK?” asked a heartfriend soon after getting to know me. Why, no, it’s not in my DNA. I grew up waiting for the other, much scarier,… Continue reading I’m as corny as Kansas in August (insert favorite upbeat lyrics here)

40 days and 40 nights

I thought I’d try not eating in front of the television for Lent. I know, right? How difficult can that be? Jesus didn’t even have television; it’s giving up a luxury only momentarily each day. I failed on the first try. Didn’t yet feel up to driving 35 minutes each way to go to church,… Continue reading 40 days and 40 nights

A foggy day

A beautiful light in this world has dimmed. She was about the age of my oldest daughter, cared about the world — there are so many reasons why this is truly horrid. And I don’t really know what to do with my feelings if I can’t lie abed with books, food and drink. But I… Continue reading A foggy day

Anne Lamott; salmon patties

Anne Lamott said many memorable things Sunday in Charlotte’s Christ Episcopal Church on a golden gingko-leaved fall afternoon. What I heard (meaning remember ) is that she didn’t want to be a model of “victimized superiority” (I know some of those dreary people), that she’s fairly certain among the things Jesus frequently says to her is… Continue reading Anne Lamott; salmon patties

Ten commandments

Things I need to accept: 1. All weight “lost” will be found as soon as I think I can eat like a normal-weight person. I dropped to 186 pounds before my high school reunion in August and, magically, I’m back up to 203 after yesterday’s first of two Thanksgiving dinners this week. Beef producers should… Continue reading Ten commandments

Holy hunger

On April 17 my friend Dannye lent me a book that’s changed my life. One month and 4 days may not seem like a long time, but it’s a long time for me not to overeat. And thanks to Margaret Bullitt-Jonas’s Holy Hunger (Vintage Books, 1998), I don’t think “long time”  anymore but a day at a… Continue reading Holy hunger

Spring still sprung **

“At most, there are two kinds of dysfunctional families: those who don’t talk enough and those who talk too much.” Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation, 1994 I grew up in the first kind and married into one of each. Visits to my first in-laws featured late-night, alcohol-fueled rants of the George and Martha “Who’s Afraid of… Continue reading Spring still sprung **

Personal trainers;re-gaining that which has been LOST

These are my personal trainers. I found them by the road. They don’t wear Spandex. They don’t swan around, showing off their ripped abs. They don’t have books in development. They don’t scream at me; they work for kibbles. They’re so pleased when I walk even a little bit that their tails go in circles.… Continue reading Personal trainers;re-gaining that which has been LOST

Out of sight, out of feeble mind

This was not a good weekend, healthy eating-wise. Well, actually, lots of what I ate was healthy food with the key word here being “lots.” Lots and lots. Like Ray Milland finding the bottle in the overhead light, I made choco espresso gems, pumpkin pie bars and peanut butter cups and sampled them all. The… Continue reading Out of sight, out of feeble mind